The ‘Dead Centre’ of Davao – Location, location, location!

There’s a property porn programme which has been running on UK TV for about a decade (or more) from which we have borrowed the name of this post.

Many adventurous foreigners consider the option of moving to the Philippines as a retirement dream.

Let us entice you some more with a desirable, well provisioned subdivision having a convenient location (near a major department store and supermarket, DIY store and an international membership-only discount store all within a stone’s throw).

The subdivision has high quality concrete roads (unlike most areas of the outer suburbs), street lighting, drainage, excellent landscaping and an onsite cafeteria where you can mix with other retirees and foreigners. Electricity is already served throughout the subdivision.

View with us some of the desirable, high quality properties already established on the subdivision. The neighbours are guaranteed not to disturb with loud karaoke or wild parties (apart from one night per year).

The cafeteria clubhouse is low-key with landscaped gardens and sculptures

The cafeteria clubhouse is low-key with landscaped gardens and sculptures

Note the clean, wide, empty roads and beautiful landscaping

Note the clean, wide, empty roads and beautiful landscaping

Many architectural styles are encouraged in this subdivision

Many architectural styles are encouraged in this subdivision

From the palatial...

From the palatial…

...large balconies for those quiet sunset beers...

…large balconies for those quiet sunset beers…

...two-storied plus covered roof-top entertaining area...

…two-storied plus covered roof-top entertaining area, and for extra comfort, note air-conditioning on two floors…

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I've walked around many top subdivisions in Davao, and I don't think any of them can match this one for the quality of the housing. Of course, not all the colours or styles are to my taste, but the building materials and infrastructure are literally second to none.

I’ve walked around many top subdivisions in Davao, and I don’t think any of them can match this one for the quality of the housing. Of course, not all the colours or styles are to my taste, but the building materials and infrastructure are literally second to none. Note the airconditioning unit.

I'm awestruck by the availability of the streetlighting. I've seen nothing like it anywhere else in the Philippines.

I’m awestruck by the availability of the streetlighting. I’ve seen nothing like it anywhere else in the Philippines.

Perhaps my favourite house and garden. I applaud the two (2) gardeners who were attending the topiary.

Perhaps my favourite house and garden. I applaud the two (2) gardeners who were attending the topiary.

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No tastes left uncatered for: Chinese...

No tastes left uncatered for: Chinese…

...Cold war nuclear bunker...

…Cold war nuclear bunker…

...Upside-down...

…Upside-down…

...Spaghetti Western/Mexican style...

…Spaghetti Western/Mexican style…

...McMansion...

…McMansion…

...Post Modernist/cubist...

…Post Modernist/cubist…

...Back-to-backs...

…Back-to-backs…

...California beachfront...what's that ornamentation on the front lawn?

…California beachfront…what’s that ornamentation on the front lawn?

There is one small fly in the ointment. The residents of all these houses shown on this page won't be moving out anytime soon...perhaps ever.

There is one small fly in the ointment. The residents of all these houses shown on this page won’t be moving out anytime soon…perhaps ever.

And would be residents must fulfill one (or two) strict requirements before they can enjoy the surroundings, airconditioning, TVs, sofas, street lighting etc.

And would be residents must fulfill one (or two) strict requirements before they can enjoy the surroundings, airconditioning, TVs, sofas, street lighting etc.

You need to have ceased to be, to be no more, to have shuffled off this mortal coil, to be an ex-parrot [shome mishtake, surely?]. You also need to be extremely wealthy. Wealthy beyond the means of most of the wealthy people you’d meet in most countries of the world. So the next time I’m confronted by a Filipino who accuses me of being rich on the basis that I’m an Americano (of which I’m neither), I now have the perfect response – “You think I’m rich, go and see how rich the deceased are in Davao Memorial Park. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Pricey land has urban Chinese buying condos as cemeteries

SHANGHAI — In the world’s most populous country, people are having difficulty finding a “home” of their own — both before and after death.

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